Approximately 1 out of 200 Americans will have some version of OCD during their lifetimes. 1 in 500 will experience severe OCD, and 1 in 1,500 will have out of control, devastating OCD that consumes more than 23 hours of your life, where OCD is the recurring theme in your dreams, your day to day life, not a minute’s rest from it. You breathe it, you shit it, you FUCK it, it is in your blood, in your asshole, in your mouth. This will cause your constant state of mind to be FEAR. You go to the doctor every week, you NEVER forget to take your medication, you are driven to check the faucet 1, 10, 100, 200 times, compulsions take up 8-9 hours a day, obsessions take up 24 hours, following you into your sleep, fucking your dreams, killing your joy. Sometimes you break out in hives due to the constant emotional stress, you see multiple doctors, you get fucked over by OCD regardless of what the doctor does.
My name is Wolfgang. I am 13 years old. I have named my OCD Zeus. Every day, Zeus and I put on our gloves and mouthpiece, and step into the ring. We beat each other bloody for 12 hours, and then Zeus knocks me the FUCK out. After he puts me to sleep, he beats on my sleeping body and breaks my ribs, my jaw, my skull. The next day we do this again, and Zeus always wins. Since he won, I am his slave. He has conquered me. Since he is too lazy to turn the stove and faucet off, and to organize his room, he makes me do all these things. Since Zeus is a little pussy who has OCD, he makes me check on the faucet 100 times before he is satisfied.
I see a doctor every week. I change medication every 3 months or so. I get counseling, I get support. Regardless, Zeus is one tough cookie, and SSRI’s cannot kill him.
Anyone out there with OCD, please share your story.