Yes. God exists. 15 Billion years ago, God was wandering around, and then he accidentally fell into the water, and he couldn’t see anything.
God, “Aww man, I can’t see shit! Let there be light!”
Light obeyed the command of God and sprung into existence, creating the Big Bang. Now that God could see, he started hovering over the water instead of fucking drowning.
God continued hovering over the water that was his swimming pool.
God; “Aww man, Ive been thinking lately, what is the point of being able to fly when you only have a ground swimming pool and not a floating one mid-air? Aww shit, let there be an expanse to separate half the water from the other half. Let half of the water float in the sky.”
God named his ground pool Ocean, after his wife Oceania, who was the real mother of Jesus. He named the floating pool Cloud, after his mistress Claudia; an illegal Mexican immigrant.
God was swimming, and he realized all he could do was swim and fly. Why did he only use his arms and wings? Why not use his legs as well. But to do that, you needed land.
God; “Let the waters receed and let dry ground appear.”
God was walking along the ground, and wanted some potato chips to eat while enjoying the scenery. But there were no potatoes yet.
God; “Let vegetation appear on the ground, and let plants bear fruit and vegetables.”
Next God wanted some beef jerky.
God; “Let the earth produce animals.”
Next, God needed a man to produce jerky and chips out of cows and potatoes.
God; “Let there be a man in my image.”
God created the first man, Adam, and realized that Adam got burnt while God was burning the fur off of a monkey to create a human. The man’s skin was now Black. God had created the first Black man; Adam. Because Adam had not yet eaten of the Tree of Knowledge, Adam had a 57 IQ like modern Africans do. So God named the man Adam, because “he’s a-DUMB”!
Next, God wanted a woman to help Adam make more Adams. So he beat Adam unconscious, and while Adam was sleeping, he ripped out a rib from Adam and used genetic enginnering to create a woman. He named her Eve, because she looked like the female version of Steve-O.
Next, God was tired of having stupid fucking niggers populating his land, so he sent a serpent to tempt the couple into eating a fruit from the tree of knowledge. Soon after, an albino was born…….
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